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Step Forward
Me and my friend Mike, were just returning from a restaurant, walking on the street towards our hotel. I spotted a girl coming out from a side street, or actually a backyard, in a beautiful way of stepping with high heels on. With one blink of the eye I saw her on the left side. She merged the same street behind me and Mike, walking just behind. I started to slow down and finally stopped at restaurant to pretend to read the menu. Still remember it, with 2 lbs porter steak on the top of the list. By this maneuver i was able to,shorten the distance to her in order to bypass us. Suddenly she stopped, and at the same spot went towards her small blue car. Just when she opened the door, I could see her in a full pose wit a trench on and long.dark hair. Even Mike, who is pretty immune to anybody else than hot tall blonds, was admiring her.
In my own way, braking the shyness of myself I approached her and asked few questions. The most important was “Are you single?”. I had bad experience getting into relations with taken women and their issues, so this question was pretty crucial. With hesitation and a smile she replied “No, I’m free”. We exchanged the phone numbers and went our own way, me and Mike walking towards the hotel, she in her blue car, the other way.
Just when i arrived to my hotel I already seen few messages arriving. I took a glass of scotch and started flirting with her. I had an impression that we got connected very quick, changing the subject from general talk to more subtle area. After a while she wanted to connect on the video call? So we did. She was there standing in her rooms cleaning make up brushes. In the light, I could see her beautiful face which I just got a glimpse of at the street we met. She really looked good. After an hour or so we said goodbye, but made a plan for a date at sushi place we both knew on Saturday. By the end of the day, a new perspective has risen. A chance for new relation?

I arrived to the sushi place just short of 1pm, the time we scheduled. She got there just few minutes later. Looking even greater then two days before. We ordered the food and started to talk. She told me about her story, being in another country for fee years and moving here to the city in February. She explained her relation with ex boyfriend, whom she was dating for a year on a commuting bases just cross the border. Somehow the relation failed, as when she arrived here, after being back home to Asia for few weeks. She said, she found the guy already with another girlfriend by that time. I could feel she was not in the best shape, but somehow after few months after he dumped her, she should be at least fine. At that time no danger spotted.

During our conversation I explained her my Apple Theory, my simple way of personal balance, a modified, accommodated version of the great Four Burners Theory. I used some small plate and toothpicks to explain the relations between the four life values, adding, shrinking, taking out of equation few of them. She was looking at this shuffling like kid at the candy store front window. I believe she like it. Indeed, few months later she admitted, that she was grabbed by this theory, and that moment was a starting point for her to get interest in me. She talked much, but at the time of explaining the theory, she was quiet. I summarized the meeting by removing the few friends she has and the job she didn’t like to leave just two burners, herself and me, commenting it by the words “You don’t have so many friends here, so we take them out, somehow you don’t like the job, so as you can see it gonna be only you and me here”. She was laughing.

After the sushi, she proposed a visit to a Starbucks at beautiful location at the sea. She used to go by herself. We ordered some coffee in the porcelain cups and started to talks how we fit. We looked at some serious horoscopes, just to trying find connections.

Somehow the horoscope was not favorable to us. Not much connected us. Not much to grab on. Anyway it’s just a stupid horoscope, isn’t it? Once again, lot of laugh, lot of compassion. Just to summarize, “great relation, sex and communication 100%, trust 0%, sic!”

Few months later, it proves, the trust issue is there as an demon surrounding the relationship. We went home early that day, but talked once again on the phone at the evening.

Cancer and Sagittarius – Compatibility in Sex, Love and Life

For last two days we were talking about different aspects of our life’s, families, achievements and previous relation. We touched the subject of sexual attraction and commitment. Cherie at few occasions stated clearly she is looking for THE ONE and didn’t want to spend her time for games.

Black toenail polish is my inspiration right now ...

In general, in this city of sin, lot of people got hurt, being dumped or cheated. Relations became vague and week. So somewhere in the middle of everything there she was, fragile, but still open for new challenges and desires.

We talked all kind of stuff, what we like, what we dislike, like ordinary people do, when they start to date. It come to discussion about fetishes and sexual games. I started do discover that she wasn’t the ordinary girl from around the corner. She was open minded and very straight forward, the kind of woman some men would run from as being to much possessive to men’s ego.

We met for dinner, went to our favorite oriental restaurant, and had some good talk. I asked if she want’s to visit my place. By that time i still was living in a hotel, planning to move to an apartment at some later point. She was little embarrassed about the idea to visit a hotel room, but somehow we passed by the reception desk unattended. Anyway it was a step towards more intimate and private way of conversation in a quiet place with no people around. We talked for few hours, having drink or two and we started to get closer, a mean closer to each other. From couch we moved to bed and the rest you can imagine. After our love making adventure she felt in sleep, waking few hours later. We did it again. She insisted to sleep home, so we walked to her place. She was kind of confused. I heard few times “We shouldn’t do it”, “I wasn’t ready” and “Why did you rush things?” That night, a beautiful hot night it did not rang the bell.

The 4th of September was a hell of a day with lot of events. Around 5pm Cherie texted me again saying she wanted to meet. Well, somehow I expected it, but I was not sure about the agenda. I said “fine, let’s meet”, but I suggested for an early meeting, as I have scheduled an introductory date with another Asian friend. I met here briefly at the entrance to the club another day, and as Cherie but that time went to history, I was officially free to date anybody. Anyway, I suggested an early meeting as the date was scheduled for 10pm. We setup the meeting in a coffee shop, we knew was not a common place there she could be found by Giuseppe.

Shortly after 8pm I arrived to the place and found her at the upper floor of the coffee shop. She was in really bad shape, dressed in a dress, but somehow tired and scarred. Really scarred. Definitely it wasn’t same Cherie I seen last time on 28th of August in the shopping mall. We ordered some green tea and she started to tell me the story of the last few days. In addition to information I got over the phone two days ago she told me details about the rock and roll Giuseppe created for her. She told me that Giuseppe had feeling that Cherie is dating somebody beside him. She became emotionally disconnected with him, but still did not break up. She told him little bit about our relation during the time he was in Italy. He even insisted to visit a club where I took her the other day to listen for live music. He wanted to meet me there, but we just visited that place once or twice. I asked what is she going to do now? She said she need some time to think things over, maybe a week or more until he gets on his feet after heeling the broken leg.

As time was clicking and my date time was approaching, I started to rush and said I have to run. Unexpectedly she offered me a drive to meeting place. She was not aware about me going for a date, but as we approached her car I told her, that I actually going to a date with another girl. I said that she must be aware of it as it’s very inconvenient situation for me being dropped to a date by another ex-girlfriend. I didn’t feel comfortable with it. We had some further chat during the drive and we agreed that I’m going just go for the date briefly and return ASAP in order to meet her again later that night. When we arrived to the place I went of the car waving to her for goodbye. I still have the picture in my head. A blue car standing at the curb at small street and not moving away for some time. 30 seconds maybe one minute she was still there looking after me with sad face. I looked back and by that time I didn’t realize it. I was focused on the date, but she was there waiting for me to get back to the car. This was my FIRST mistake I made from day we met back in August. Sadly I realized it just a half an hour later when she text me a selfie with her crying face. I realized that I was pretty stupid to put her in the situation of dropping a guy for a date, the same guy she went to meet just few hours earlier. I realized that that day she actually opened a gate for reuniting us. A huge mistake I made.

After the date, which I rushed as fast I could I tried to call her several times. She was silent. As she said later, she went back to Giuseppe, despite a plan to meet with me for another wonderful night. I still feel bad about that day and I still see the blue car at the curb etched in my brain with her sad, crying eyes…

Already at 7am, she texted “Good morning” and said that she passed out after returning home last night. She didn’t tell though that she went back to him. She tried to explain her feelings and emotions with Giuseppe and me on the other side. Obviously at this point she had a clear picture of us both and was divided or even torn apart. On one hand a nice older good guy with lot of patience and on the other side more impulsive young stallion surrounded by lot of friends and shining around. Pretty difficult choice, even after months, differences between two of us are clear and distracted her for next few weeks. At few occasions she used to say that she is chocking with relation with him and she feels light with me. Additionally, the ring she got from Giuseppe weights heavy now and builds another guilt within her despite the guilt of having the need to support his healing.

Shortly before noon we met in my hotel, for a second time. We had good time in bed and she was very open-minded, urging to try new kinky things. Few months later I got to know that she faked her orgasm that night, however I didn’t feel like that at this that moment. Afterwards we went for a lunch and then I briefly introduced her to my daughter, who was visiting me for the weekend. We agreed that we run our own errands during the afternoon and we meet again in the evening for dinner and some clubbing.

At early evening the communication with her started to fade again. I knew that things are wrong. During the days, weeks and months of this rock and roll voyage I learned quickly to smell things being wrong just by sensing the change of her behavior. You know, the small things. She didn’t make it for dinner nor she made for the club later that night. Just past 8.30pm she dropped me few messages.

Hi … Sorry… Im in bad timing at the moment
Trying to get rid of him… im returning his ring
Bare with me…
? his possesive attitude … he dont want to accept it… he said he cant get rid of me that easy
Cant talk now. Bare with me…
Im stress and bit worried
? this is harder than I thought

Indeed, in an act of bravery and trying to free herself from Giuseppe, she made decision to return the ring and walk away. I told her that it was the wrong way of doing this and that she needs my support with this. However, she wanted to do that on her own, which I was afraid will not work as she was way to soft. We exchanged few more messages, but at that point she got convinced to stay there with Giuseppe, instead of joining me for the evening. I felt exactly the same like last weekend, dumped and left alone, despite a hope for rebuilding the relation. The fact we went to bed together just few hours earlier did not matter, or maybe it mattered in the way that gave her kick to try free herself and to return the ring. I’m not sure. As to conclusion for that night, she once again spent the day with me and night with him. So sad.

She was silent all Friday. I had time to rethink it, I started to be fed up with her and her immature approach to this relation with her immature boyfriend around. At that point of our relation the bonding from my side wasn’t that strong yet, so I believed I could just let her go. Just before 5pm I dropped her a message saying Goodbye. She replied pretty quick initially defending herself, but then she said that Giuseppe went mad last night trying to find me in the city, traveling to the places we were with Cherie together. She also said that he became verbally abusive and once again manipulated her to feel the guilt of him traveling back with his lame leg. She also realized that while he was in Italy, he got some hint that Cherie started to date somebody, by sensing changes in her and by observing her Facebook page. After one hour or so, she finished the conversation saying “I want to see you next and be with you. I’m really sad…”.

After that she went silent for few hours and came back online after 10pm again. She once again talked about the guilt and being scary about being dumped again after he heals up. She somehow started to see the things in Giuseppe, I tried to explain to her during last few days. She started to sense that not all is right with that relation and that not all Giuseppe is saying, he aims to do.


All this made me more confused. Somehow, she indicated that she wants to walk away from him, but similarly to the steps she took two days ago by trying to return the ring she was not able to quit that relation. Same today, she wanted to walk, but couldn’t. Some kind of magnet kept her there. I tried so badly to get things to work, but she kept saying “Give me a week to clear my mind”. At the end of that night I gave up and just let her be with herself. My feelings where very mixed. All from love to resignation. Maybe I needed a break as well afterwards?

This morning she surprised me with a message “It’s over. I need this week to be just alone” I understood, she finally dropped him. She said that actually he dumped her again. Again means for 3rd, 4th or 5th time, not sure anymore. As I was out of city, we couldn’t meet that day to discuss things face to face. Obviously she needed it, but we could just talk over the phone. In her voice she was very happy, relieved, waiting to hug me same time I would arrive later that evening. She wanted to start it over, reset it and I felt she was serious this time, lighten and ready. Rest of the afternoon we were in good mood, exchanging positive messages in hope for better time.

As closing to the evening, she indicated headache, still far from my arrival planned for around 11pm. Rest of the evening was related to that headache, text messages became sparse. When I landed she wasn’t there. I trusted that the headache kicked her off and she went to bed early. Unfortunately by that time I didn’t know anything about new actor called Sir John.

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