CHERIE COMMENT Step Backwards The Story

“I love you, but I love him more.”

September 29, 2019 by Grey Guy 1 Comment

Last two days we talked over what happened. Giuseppe knew her weak points. Her urge to get back her family, reunite with daughter and settle down. He knew she needed a job and he knew she needed financial stability. He played her well, promising all this in order to get her, to take her from me. He followed her footsteps, knowing she will be attracted to those events around. As soon he knew from his friends around, that I’m around he was hiding not willing to confront. He tried to be smart and he was smart and very persistent. She tried to get rid of the poison in her mind, but at this point she was unable. She thought she was, but she wasn’t. By that time I didn’t know anything about it.

“I could have choose you Giuseppe, you are rich, you have money, you own a company. You are young, handsome and sexy. You have everything a woman could ask for. You could have provide everything I need, money, things, you even offer a phone and could offer me more…..You are always way better than Mr Grey, there is no competition. He is nothing compared to you. But I chose him because i found in him the qualities of a MAN That I want to be with, to spend the rest of my life. Again, this is not all about Money after all. If I chose MONEY over LOVE, Then I should be with you right now.“

She was convincing me about her commitment and send love messages and I believed her. We, once again started to rebuild the relation and started to get trust in each other. At that point I don’t know how much she told him about me, but obviously at some point later he knew lot about our life and he must have known this from her.

I must admit I had to be blind then. I didn’t see the small issues. Sure I sensed the small changes and I knew that that feeling wasn’t wrong. When I asked “what bothers you” she tried to give some logical answer. After all she started to get to know me as well, knowing the issues I was sensitive at and trying not to touch them. On the other hand, she realized that I didn’t have much interest in some of her events and she knew that i give her lot of free space and freedom. She was very good to snick around this, building my confidence and avoiding traps. My feelings were very mature and compared to Giuseppe’s earlier and later behavior she should have no doubts in making correct choices. But she made the errors on daily basis.

Some time later I get to know that Giuseppe was writing emails to her almost every day, poisoning her and giving her ultimatums and promising her family. She shared all of the emails far later, but back then in end of September, I didn’t know about it.
At that particular day she, send him back a long message explaining all the situation, feeling being manipulated and she end it with words: “I love you, but I love him more.”. A brave decision, that should last forever, but I definitely not a persistent one, as live shows.

1 Comment

Cherie February 19, 2020 at 13:48

I started to see Giuseppe become persuasive of winning me back. I told him about Mr. Grey, that I am in relationship with him now, but due to the informations I’d shared with him, he used it in his advantages to confused me and to convince me that there is no future he sees in me with Mr. Grey.

I started to feel hate, anger and disappointment.I felt pity thinking that I’m just a second priority. I hate thinking of Mr. Grey’s relationship with her. I hate to think that I am sharing Mr. Grey with her. The sad truth is, I just have to accept her existence even if I am not comfortable about it.

That night he landed, he went straight to the venue of the body the painting.
I was participating on that event and Giuseppe wanted to be there to support me as well, but as soon as he knew Mr. Grey’s arrival he didn’t showed up.

I was hesitating to entertain Mr. Grey that night, I was withdrawing myself. For two reason. First, My fraternity, my people saw me with Giuseppe early in the morning basketball event and they thought he was my boyfriend and I don’t think it’s a good idea for them to see me with Mr.Grey that night. Somehow Im protecting my image and my name being a member of the organisation, I don’t want them to judge me. Second, after knowing that Mr. Grey have someone else, I don’t see a reason of introducing him to my people as my Bf, the relationship with him is in crucial stage, I’m not sure if he is really mine, so why I would introduce him now and relationship will end anyway. I’m avoiding him and remain casual as I could, As much as possible I don’t want to show any affections to him that will give hint to my people that he is someone for me.

With my withdrawal and avoidance, He sense my changes of interacting with him in public. He sent me a long message, I was sad reading about it. That night I am really confused of what to do. My mind is floating. To who’s word I should listen? Giuseppe’s word or his? I am already confused of my situation and the relationship I have with Mr. Grey, I am exhausted. But Giuseppe’s is not giving up, he saw there is a weak point of my relationship with him, the more I push him away, the more he keeps coming back, this time he is communicating with me in the email after I blocked him on WhatsApp.

I was strong enough to resist his manipulation, brainwashing, begging, and promising. Despite of his tactic to ruin the image of Mr. Grey in my head, I still have the courage to defend him and protect our relationship from him. I am in the edge of losing the hope fighting for someone who is own by someone else.

That night Mr. Grey explained his trip and his time with Banana. He wanted to secure my feelings that there is nothing between them anymore, no sex happen etc etc. But when I asked him, if he let go the relationship with her, did he break up her up. Unfortunately, NOT! he didn’t do something about it. He still in relationship with her, He is still protecting her not to get hurt, He is still communicating with her. He is still worried for her. He is still caring for her. He just couldn’t get rid of her that easy when I asked him to.

So what’s the point? He’s still in contact with her, remain in relationship with her, and still care for her, that only shows that my relationship is secondary to hers. I don’t feel secure in relationship anymore, the more I develop my insecurities every time I thought of his relationship with Banana. That was the turning point of withdrawing from Mr. Grey, the love is there, my comittment is with him, but trust with the relationship, I’m not sure! On the other hand, I had to reconsider about what Giuseppe’s told me of building a relationship and family with him. I was communicating with him through email and WhatsApp behind Mr. Grey’s back.

Half of me was already confused, I know I love Mr. Grey, but due to his relationship with Banana, my thoughts are withdrawing from him. A relationship of which I am not sure if he is fully committed. My heart cries each time I think about me being the “secondary woman” in this story. With all my previous failure relationship, I won’t settle for less than what I deserve. With all of these confusions and stress, and disappointments, It drags me to listen more of Giuseppe’s word against his in which he is really good at it. There was a moment that I am already convince of his words but my feelings for Mr.Grey is stronger.

With my deep conversation Mr. Grey about what happened during those days he was gone and I told him every thing, from the first day of having my job interview, second day of the dinner with Giuseppe, third day of the birthday we both invited in, forth day of the pageant, the car, the ring, the apartment, and fifth day of basketball event and the body painting.

Despite of the disappointment Mr.Grey had for me, his love and feelings for me are strong enough to forgive me for what I did. Somehow, partly of my withdrawal and giving Giuseppe’s an access to communicate with me was because of the insecurity I started to feel because of Banana’s existence.
We’ve talk, we cried, and he promise to get rid of Banana in his own way. I know it’s difficult to get rid of someone who was with him for the last three years, but I don’t accept to be his other woman and a second priority. If he has to choose me, He has to do something about her relationship with her. He has to make me feel secure with our relationship. I needed his love and care, most of all I want his attention to be only mine, but in this case, Not really, he is still divided with me and her. But I have to trust him, I have to trust his words and wait for his action.

And later that day, I message Giuseppe to return his ring and car. Despite of his manipulation, and tactic way of destroying my relationship and Mr.Grey’s image in my head, and building an image of a family with him, he’s still defeated. I still choose Mr. Grey over him for the second time. I asked him to meet us to take the car and ring back but he didn’t have the face to show, Instead he ask me to drop it to his staff residence, and I secretly sent him a long email trying to explain my real feelings towards Mr. Grey, defended him and protected him against him. I was resistant for his manipulation all those time and ended my email with “I love you but I love him more”.

On the other hand, I’m still fighting with my thoughts, still doubtful. After choosing Mr. Grey for second time, I don’t know how strong his love for me is, would it be strong enough to get rid of banana, or he will convince me to accept her existence in our life. I have to know, I have to decide to continue or to just walk away. I just hope that all these fight I am dealing with will pays off eventually with the hope that Mr. Grey will end his relationship with Banana and put my feelings first as his priority.