Fade to Grey

Cherie was focused on the pageant and on conversation with some other girls, but somehow her preparations stopped. I asked, and she hesitate. Eventually she admitted that she has been banned or rather disqualified from the contest, as she went into argument of convince the other participants from not contesting during the coming weeks. She used arguments, as the contest is going week after week for 3 months is too much and maybe the organizer would reschedule some events, especially for the incoming Christmas travel period. Some of the competitors overheard this and whist blow it to the organizer. Four girls got the kick, among them Cherie. She then went into some nasty conversation with one of the organizers and rest of the story you can imagine. I was surprised, but on the other hand that could be an opportunity for us recover and rebuild the last weeks of tensions.

She tried to complain, and use some common sense in explaining herself, but they did not listen to her. As I still was fighting for the relation, I missed a very clear statement from her saying “There is a sponsor for this pageant. The money i spent for this event is not coming from you”. Still in my stupidity and my trust for her, despite the clear signals, I did not suspect her conspiracy plan with Giuseppe. I believed that the real sponsors of that competition are putting money for the contestants, but I. did not know that one of them was Giuseppe. He took care of all the issues related to her participation, but he was not able to unfuck the mess she created with sabotaging the contest. So she was out of it and the only way to her to participate was to watch the other girls from the side bench.

The tension was too high, she got irritated with every single thing. Our text exchange went down to zero and we just bypass each other. Cherie was in another world and me hopeless, unable to fix her. As I could repair and sail always home from the rough waters, this time I could not. She send me a post send by some other girl, about the never happen marriage and I started to understand, that we are going nowhere. I had difficulties to absorb it. It was heavy, as I have seen the end of the path, lam, unable to do anything. Things gonna explode any minute. She was fading away, and once again I had to travel.