“True, only True, nothing but the True”

Events portraited this Monday and following Tuesday are the crucial events in our lives at that time. What happened during those two days shaped the relation for some time, but only some time.

As I blocked her yesterday evening there was no communication from her. I was also out of city for business, so even if she reverted her mind, she wouldn’t be able to reach me. The thing is, I couldn’t be persisted in blocking her and not hearing anything from her. I just couldn’t. She was too much value for me, too lonely without listening to her voice, even when she was fucked up that way she said. I knew her for some time now to know that whatever happens to her is for a reason. I needed to know that reason or reasons. My analytic personality couldn’t accept a score sheet full of gaps. So I composed a message, unblocked her and sent it.

Cherie. I have been thinking abt all this. I told you once that whatever eats you I will help you with. You said once that God sent you Greg for some reason. I’m here. I can I want take care of you whatever it takes. All can be solved when you start to talk to me. We made a good connection from start and we can not just dump it. I know you are in high distress situation but let me help you. There is a huge driving force called love behind this and believe the present issues are no issues. I need you Cherie and you need me. Why would you destroy this. Let me just take care of you, please.

I will fight for you whatever it takes, as despite your present situation you are valuable person, a mother. For long time I did not met somebody like you and I need to do whatever is needed to get you in balance and to develop feelings and love. Whatever bad you feel abt yourself Is just a temporary state where you force yourself into stupid actions because you don’t see me by your side. You look for help and choose irrational solutions because you do not realize that I’m by your side to help you to get on track. Why? I know you have feelings for me and you choose to discard them. Why Cherie, why?

I need your love and you need mine. We are connected and made for each other. Whatever is bad now we can turn it into good. I want to be with you and I want you to be part of me. Please consider my help and love I have for you. A true feeling and true intentions.”

She started to talk about bank pushing her with the loan, threats her into the extend of blocking her cards and imposing legal and administrative matters. She wanted so badly go back home to see her daughter and family. She wanted to straighten the life, but due to all the events around she couldn’t. Being without job since Sept 1st, thorn between two guys with financial issues, she started to go for complete system failure. I wasn’t there, but I could feel all this. I could sense it from her voice. She was in need for acute help, here and now.

I reviewed her bank statements and 10 minutes later I cleared her outstanding loan, which was around 50% of what she owned the bank. For that moment bank needed that installment, so there would be time to negotiate rest of the loan at later point. That decision was purely spontaneous, no strings attached. I needed to cure her and to cure her I needed to clear the obstacles. One of them was the bank. I sent her the confirmation and asked her to remove it from her mind for time being in order to get her to talk about other issues. The payment of the loan and decision behind it will be play a big role in the future development of the relation, but at that point it was needed to move forward.

“I am fucked up… and I dont know why you still want me despite of whats goin on with me

I am too good that people are taking advantage of my weakness.. im so helpless.. i dont have work and i felt so powerless

Just all of these emotional distress is destroying me and really need someone to help me get out of this hell…”

I landed at 11pm and this time she was there waiting at the parking lot. She was sad, happy and with very mixed mood. We went to a crowded place, but found some isolated table at the corner. We started to talk, or rather she started to tell the story from the beginning, day by day until today. True, only True, nothing but the True. As midnight approached we moved into Day Zero.