One step back
The following day, she was full of guilt, Our meeting didn’t look the same as the one day before. Obviously, the hot night in my bed put some constraints in her behavior, kind of withdrawal, kind of emotional guilt. She repeated the same words about rushing and not being ready. That day I couldn’t reach to her. I felt our relation went backwards. In no way, was she able nor ready to talk about her feelings and guilt in her.
Lot of thoughts crossed my mind, but I did not have any answers. Maybe things went to quick and she was not ready for involving in sexual relation yet. Indeed she repeated few times earlier, not to rush and that life is not always about sex She also mention something about Mr Right. Hmmm, maybe i wasn’t Mr Right after all. Yet.
After that hot intimate night with Mr. Grey, I felt a guilt inside me, worried, and scared. It shouldn’t happened, not that too early, I just met him few days back, Why I did that? What about Giuseppe, I still don’t understand why he dumped the relation, what if he comes back? But now things will be complicated if he comes back, as I already sleep with Mr. Grey.
The next morning, Giuseppe reached out with me, received a messages from him saying, He was sorry, that he realised his mistake of dumping me. He explained that he had an accident few days back that he got a broken leg and foot, he was so stress and was unhappy with his situation and that leads him to dump the relation with me. But now he wants me back.
Damn, why now? Why just now you explained your situation there, why just now you are saying sorry? Why you keep quiet all these days and left me hanging with a lot of thoughts in my head, where did I go wrong? What I did, why you have to broke up me?
Why just now you, when I already sleep with Mr. Grey.
Right after the conversation with Giuseppe, I then start to avoid Mr Grey, and be distant with my replies to his messages. I was silent, I told him I need to be alone, I need to think.
Giuseppe wants me back, But I had an amazing time with Mr. Grey.
Me, having the hopes to get back with Giuseppe But on the other hand, I felt amazing every time I’m with Mr. Grey. That positive aura, calm environment and freedom to express my feelings and thoughts are something that I will never have with Giuseppe. While Giuseppe is creating more of a stress, we argue most of the times, even with small things, and that triggers my anger and temper. It’s a toxic environment, It’s not good, I am still healing with the previous relationship I had, and I can’t be in the same situation again.
I told Giuseppe that I started going out with someone, I started dating. He couldn’t accept why I dated so fast, I then replied how can you dump the relation so fast? And I just told him to move on. But he insisted that he will travel asap to Sin City, to convince me that he is really serious of fixing what has broken. Despite of his condition with a broken leg, he is really sure about traveling. I told him not to take risks of flying, but he book his tickets right away, and he said he will get me a ring as a sign of his sincerity to get back in the relation and that he wants to marry me. My confusion started to arise. Should I give Giuseppe a chance? Or Be with Mr.Grey and see where the relation lead us.