Day Zero
The Story
She told me the story of her ex-husband, or rather still a husband. Her life with him, the lack of support of the daughter, unemployment, forcing her to work long hours and by the same trying to be with her daughter. She told me about the administrative and medical complications related to giving birth, and she told me about the day she was kicked out of the apartment altogether with her daughter and niece with the words “Get out, bitch”. She told me the story of being forced to take care of the daughter after that day with basically one suitcase in hand.
She told me the story of Giuseppe being verbally abusing her, manipulating her and somehow using her for his own needs. She was attracted to him and maybe she would stay with him, but each time she moved in she could not breath nor stay there longer then few days. She suffocated, especially since she met me on August 15th. She was split, pushed and pulled between us two. She was confused, trying to find the best in each of us, weighting the pluses and minuses of each of us. She told me how she cheated both him and me being with me days and him nights. She told me that she walked away, but still could not be free due to the engagement ring she had and the ring was a reason for a guilt, an anchor dragging her down. She had difficulties in saying “No”, assertiveness issues, but each time the situation became worse she reached her hand for help towards me. She needed to balance the feelings to get out of that hell of Giuseppe, and she found kind of stability when being with me. She appreciated the calm aura surrounding our relation, the calm environment, which balanced the upside-down with Giuseppe. As badly she wanted to go away from him, the more persisted he was in manipulating her and putting guilt on her, trying to stop her.
Rewinding now back to the 7th of September, when she went silent with migraine and headache. At that particular day, when she walked away from Giuseppe, she become so happy and full of hope. She was looking forward to meet me in the evening, and you remember that she never shown up and called herself prostitute the very next day. At that evening, she said, she received a phone call from Sir John, her former boss, asking her to came to his house. She told me the story of Sir John, in my opinion not much Sir, rather motherfucker, but let’s be fair. Day Zero later shown that he became a real gentleman. Obviously, Cherie, after she left Oak Man, started to date online and was approached by Sir John. After some online dating they met and developed a husband-mistress relation, where she was needed as required. On the other hand, Sir John offered her a job and actually she started to receive salary. All that happened early spring this year. She got a job, company car, she dated her boss for shorter emotional encounters, but obviously she was too hot for him to handle. Cherie is a high maintenance woman, with her needs and kinky desires. Obviously, he was looking for somebody more controllable than her. Additionally, the issue with his present wife and teenage kids, didn’t allow him to move forward. Cherie said, they never shown up in public, never had common friends. Some attraction started to build up, she said, but just short visits to his house, when maid was not present were not enough to her. So that particular day, two days ago, when she was happy, he asked her to get to him. She refused. He said “Get here now, otherwise you are finished”. She went there, the same time when she got of the radar with her messages being sparse that evening. She went to Sir motherfucker John and once again he used her for his needs. And once again she didn’t ask for help or advice on what to do at that point. She felt like a hooker, a bitch, a prostitute. Not only thorn between me and Giuseppe, but now half forced and half raped by another player.
She was talking about her actually leaving the job with Sir John’s company, due to his “request for services” attitude. So, when there was indication of lay-offs, she was the first one to walk off, of her own will. A brave, but hard decision. She showed me an agreement with her ex-husband, which forced her to withdraw from all financial alimony from her ex for the rights to see her daughter. With all this she went into financial issues, with her ex-husband not supporting her and rarely her daughter. She used to send some support back home to her family, but now with no job this would not be possible anymore.
I understood the hell she went thru. I did. I was sad and I’m still sad that she was not able to open her mouth and talk earlier. Although grateful she did at that point.
The Plan
After the tears stopped to drop down, we looked to possible solutions. We started with saying good bye to Giuseppe. In a brief text message she told him that she is walking from him definitely and she is happy with me. She asked for being left in peace. He did not respond at that time, probably the hour was late. Few minutes later we did the same with Sir John. Contrary to Giuseppe, the answers came quickly with few angry messages and disbelief. Although Sir John wouldn’t be Sir if after reflection, few hours later he came with sounder replays and even asked how he could help her, wishing her all the best in a sincere way.
We went to my hotel room, she was shaking and she was in really bad condition. At that day, which we called Day Zero, we reset our relation, promised to talk the true, nothing but the true. However, as time shows, we failed with that as well, but that night it was not important. We wanted to proceed forward and build a relation. I remember, I write some notes from that day.
That night something unbelievable happened, kind of magic, complete reset, a brave decision to restore the relation and get away from emotional burden. A night there everything was possible, a night of cry and emotions feeling up the room. night where all the emotional distress shall gradually fade away. a win of the good and failure for the bad. a new reconnection of two people attached to each other, but somehow separated, lost in space. two people knowing well that they found a new path in the live. she in fragile state, wounded by many, afraid. he afraid of the state of this small success. is he able to lead her with the good into the better brighter world? is she able to resist the temptations and the sharks around? where are they going to be at day 1, 10, 100? there were no answers, there was only the hope. that night a glue was applied to two halves forming very unstable relation. will this at some point evolve into full blown relationship? nobody knew that at that time. lot of words, lot of secrets came to surface, lot of hard feelings and lot of emotions to be faced. that night was a night of forgiveness, a difficult and harsh way to forget the bad, to swallow the truth. the only way.
The demons hopefully were left behind, in trust they will not came back. the common will to fight them with full force. the demons that would stay away with a winning force of the small glue applied between them two that night. a glue that shall strengthen with each day and keep the fragile relation strong, as a plant growing up with stronger roots and leaves every day, a plant able to resist the strong winds coming in day 1,10 or 100. his fight for her shall be the driving force, kind of correcting her when she takes wrong steps, kind of explaining the difference between the good and the bad. like teaching a small kid walking, supporting her in finding the path into his heart, accepting her with all the past, with all the distress. her willingness to follow and to learn from the good, the trust, the commitment. a great night, a night that shall remain in the memories for long time, if not forever. two people in the planet directed into each other in hope of success and future. a small start.
That night gradually went into the day, where the commitment was founded, a will to proceed, no matter what. a commitment to clean the obstacles and move forward. two people opening the hearts and minds for each other in the long lasting conversation. the understanding, the seed of love starting to bloom. the support the fight, the one way direction, no return, no give up, never, under any circumstances. her to start to release the stress in the emotions of accumulated in the previous days. him to see the possible future. her starting to breathe. him starting to believe she will be strong. both trusting the demons and sharks will stay away. both looking into day one in the beautiful sexual experience full of emotions and passion. both full of hope, both exhausted, but happy. a small hope for happiness was born at the end of day zero. a great day, a one in a live day. a day not to be forgotten.
Later that evening, I promise to come and meet him in the airport.
I’m waiting inside my car in the parking. As he approached my car then seated I couldn’t say any word except saying “Hi”.
The earlier conversation with him on the phone was still fresh in my head, I felt ashamed of myself that I couldn’t look at him in the eye. But despite of that, I’m thankful that he didn’t judge me, my past and how I become since I move to Sin City.
I belittled myself so much for the experiences I suffered just to survive a living in this City.
And so, We’ve decided to find a place where we can talk freely. Drove to city, and find a perfect place where we can talk. We ordered some food and drinks and the conversation started. He wanted to know everything about me, he wanted to understand what’s going on with me, and so I started talking first about my ex husband whom I had a child with, marriage lasted for 3 yrs as I caught him cheating over a Thai lady, he travelled several times to Thailand just to be with this woman and that leads our marriage to a crucial times, but I am fighter, I didn’t give up the relationship easily, despite of the forgiveness given, he again cheated on me 2nd, 3rd times until he kicked me out and our child to the apartment with my niece who were babysitting her. Leaving me no choice but to go and move forward our life without him. Raising my child alone without getting enough support from him but that’s okay, I have a decent job anyway we will survive. But life was unfair, despite of keeping my daughter beside me somehow the law and the circumstances didn’t allow me to keep her so I have to send her back to my home country.
Since she left, I was feeling empty, sad and undirected with my life. I lost the motivation and inspiration. Until I met Mr. Oak Man who brought happiness to my life again, I really thought he was the Mr. Right I was waiting for. The relationship with him was with ups and downs as I was not the only woman around, somehow he has another 3 woman in each different city, But again I have given my best to the relationship with him, taking care of him and his twins who were in his custody. The boys loves me and respected being their second mom. I fought a lot for the relationship to last, despite of being aware that those women exist, I never get tired of fighting and proving myself that I am the woman he needs and not them. Eventually, after a months of proving myself he realized that It was me who stayed and stick around despite of him being an ass from the beginning of our relationship.
I left my life, my career, my stability, in this country just to be with him in the Sin City hoping that this will brought us closer and stronger bonds of relationship after being in long distance relationship. Somehow, I left for 6 weeks to visit my daughter back home, and when I came back he was already dating with someone else for the last 2 weeks, and thrown the relationship with me and wanted her instead of me. From there, my life, my dreams of having a family with him collapse, leaving me in a very desperate situation as I am new in the Sin City, no job, no friends.
My frustrations started and that leads me joining a dating site where I met Sir John whom offered me a job and help me get back on my feet. Somehow, he started courting me and have a relationship with him for a very short period of time as He wasn’t ready for any commitment and the fact that he was still in love with his ex girlfriend that time. At the same he is still married and cant proceed with the divorce as he still has minor child. So, technically he wants me only when he needs someone to be fuck, with no commitment. The fact that I can no longer say No with this request as I am already employed by him, having a work visa so I can stay in Sin City. He warned me not to have relationship with anyone as long as I am working with him, that’s not fair but as a gratitude for helping me, I agreed on it.
And then I met Giuseppe, whom I expect to save me from the situation with Sir John, but somehow I couldn’t tell him the truth about him. Im not comfortable opening my self as I sense already his immaturity from the start. But the engagement ring place a big role for my decision to walk away with Sir John which I thought the best decision I could ever done but somehow the relationship with Giuseppe is more toxic than what I expected. Until I met Mr. Grey.
All these stories was shared to Mr. Grey, and so after hearing those he come up with the solution to send a message to both Sir John and Giuseppe. I started to be worried. Dumping Giuseppe is fine, but Sir John? Despite of me leaving the job as he thought I wasn’t happy at work and he accepted that reason and he still allows me to use the company visa, and his car. I couldn’t imagine how he will react of knowing that I left the company because of someone. That worries me because he will cancel my visa right away if necessary. But somehow Mr.Grey had a better plan for me and that visa thing. So he composed two different message to both and I was still shaking, I don’t know If I can handle their replies. I am not strong enough, so Mr. Grey took over my phone he was replying to both as if It was me they are talking to.
And so the night ends, Mr. Grey had to fly back. Somehow, Giuseppe knew where I am staying, so any time by then as soon as he read that message Mr.Grey composed, I know he will not believe it easy and will still try to look for me and convince me with the relationship. So staying in my place that night is not the best idea at all. He instructed me to stay in his hotel and never go out as he was dealing to both. I felt stronger as I know Mr Grey is behind me, supporting me, backing me up. I still cant believe what’s happening, staying in his hotel room with mixed emotions. I’m crying, scared, and worried, I don’t know what will happen next. But one thing I know for sure Mr Grey loves me so much. After all, he never judge me. He still see me as a woman who is worth fighting for, and that made me so happy. Finally I found someone who never gives up on me, the more I appreciate his efforts and I trusted that his intentions was true and purely to save me from repeating the same mistakes of choosing wrong person to be with. I appreciate how Mr Grey protected me from them, first time ever I encountered a person who’s willing to go through All these with me.