As she talked I got scared. I couldn’t understand how that lovely, petite, human being could handle that much. All what happened since she was dumped by Oak Man, become a thriller, a horror story. With each word, with each event I started to understand what happened to her and all the pieces started to fall in place. I could understand the messages, I could clearly see the big words HELP, HELP ME between the lines. I sensed that things were wrong, but not that wrong. She was very open and in kind of tragic way mixed with calm in her voice she talked and talked, crying between.

The Story

She told me the story of her ex-husband, or rather still a husband. Her life with him, the lack of support of the daughter, unemployment, forcing her to work long hours and by the same trying to be with her daughter. She told me about the administrative and medical complications related to giving birth, and she told me about the day she was kicked out of the apartment altogether with her daughter and niece with the words “Get out, bitch”. She told me the story of being forced to take care of the daughter after that day with basically one suitcase in hand.

She told me the story of Giuseppe being verbally abusing her, manipulating her and somehow using her for his own needs. She was attracted to him and maybe she would stay with him, but each time she moved in she could not breath nor stay there longer then few days. She suffocated, especially since she met me on August 15th. She was split, pushed and pulled between us two. She was confused, trying to find the best in each of us, weighting the pluses and minuses of each of us. She told me how she cheated both him and me being with me days and him nights. She told me that she walked away, but still could not be free due to the engagement ring she had and the ring was a reason for a guilt, an anchor dragging her down. She had difficulties in saying “No”, assertiveness issues, but each time the situation became worse she reached her hand for help towards me. She needed to balance the feelings to get out of that hell of Giuseppe, and she found kind of stability when being with me. She appreciated the calm aura surrounding our relation, the calm environment, which balanced the upside-down with Giuseppe. As badly she wanted to go away from him, the more persisted he was in manipulating her and putting guilt on her, trying to stop her.

Rewinding now back to the 7th of September, when she went silent with migraine and headache. At that particular day, when she walked away from Giuseppe, she become so happy and full of hope. She was looking forward to meet me in the evening, and you remember that she never shown up and called herself prostitute the very next day. At that evening, she said, she received a phone call from Sir John, her former boss, asking her to came to his house. She told me the story of Sir John, in my opinion not much Sir, rather motherfucker, but let’s be fair. Day Zero later shown that he became a real gentleman. Obviously, Cherie, after she left Oak Man, started to date online and was approached by Sir John. After some online dating they met and developed a husband-mistress relation, where she was needed as required. On the other hand, Sir John offered her a job and actually she started to receive salary. All that happened early spring this year. She got a job, company car, she dated her boss for shorter emotional encounters, but obviously she was too hot for him to handle. Cherie is a high maintenance woman, with her needs and kinky desires. Obviously, he was looking for somebody more controllable than her. Additionally, the issue with his present wife and teenage kids, didn’t allow him to move forward. Cherie said, they never shown up in public, never had common friends. Some attraction started to build up, she said, but just short visits to his house, when maid was not present were not enough to her. So that particular day, two days ago, when she was happy, he asked her to get to him. She refused. He said “Get here now, otherwise you are finished”. She went there, the same time when she got of the radar with her messages being sparse that evening. She went to Sir motherfucker John and once again he used her for his needs. And once again she didn’t ask for help or advice on what to do at that point. She felt like a hooker, a bitch, a prostitute. Not only thorn between me and Giuseppe, but now half forced and half raped by another player.

She was talking about her actually leaving the job with Sir John’s company, due to his “request for services” attitude. So, when there was indication of lay-offs, she was the first one to walk off, of her own will. A brave, but hard decision. She showed me an agreement with her ex-husband, which forced her to withdraw from all financial alimony from her ex for the rights to see her daughter. With all this she went into financial issues, with her ex-husband not supporting her and rarely her daughter. She used to send some support back home to her family, but now with no job this would not be possible anymore.

I understood the hell she went thru. I did. I was sad and I’m still sad that she was not able to open her mouth and talk earlier. Although grateful she did at that point.

The Plan

After the tears stopped to drop down, we looked to possible solutions. We started with saying good bye to Giuseppe. In a brief text message she told him that she is walking from him definitely and she is happy with me. She asked for being left in peace. He did not respond at that time, probably the hour was late. Few minutes later we did the same with Sir John. Contrary to Giuseppe, the answers came quickly with few angry messages and disbelief. Although Sir John wouldn’t be Sir if after reflection, few hours later he came with sounder replays and even asked how he could help her, wishing her all the best in a sincere way.

We went to my hotel room, she was shaking and she was in really bad condition. At that day, which we called Day Zero, we reset our relation, promised to talk the true, nothing but the true. However, as time shows, we failed with that as well, but that night it was not important. We wanted to proceed forward and build a relation. I remember, I write some notes from that day.