He did good job in gathering himself, didn’t he?

I woke up with huge hangover. Me and Peter were drinking till early hours, having some memories of the good times with Cherie. He knew her as well, as we have been together in the SinCity pretty much from the same time. Technically I’m his supervisor and Initially the relation was more like boss/employee, but with time passed we got more social and started to build friendship on top of business relation. I don’t know what kind of boss I’m in his eyes, but he at few occasions compared me to a mix of Richard Branson/Steve Jobs, for my informal way of dressing and light lifestyle connected to beauty and caring for details. Maybe not in the pedantic way, but definitely in geometrical space and order.

Anyway, he was a good friend and at the beginning Cherie called him “assistant”. Later, especially after the accident, she found his good abilities to negotiate, get involved and simply being helpful. Contrary to myself, being less social with people and very, very peculiar in selecting so called friends. Probably until today I can really trust maybe 2-3 people on the Earth, making my life miserable, as the amount of data my brain process in terms of not only analyzing the topic itself, but also by detecting the agenda of people around. Through the years in the business I learned that people are very reluctant to confabulation and telling other people what they want to hear rather than bare facts. We all try to hide our incompetence and improperness rather then bend our head and simply admit Mea Culpa. After so many years I still have doubts, if I’m able to make right choices in selecting employees to my team or in general in judging the people. On the other hand I have to admit, I had luck in selecting my life partners, where the relations were pretty long and fruitful. I do not regret any of those and I consider myself pretty lucky.

I told Peter about all this and probably more, which I’m not sure I do remember today. I was confused how all this could happen where Cherie was misleading me and simply deceived me. How was I so naïve and so blind not to see her coming exile? How was this possible, that with all the goodness from my side she chooses Giuseppe? What did he offer to her? I didn’t know. It was a shock. She was co calm and controlled herself in the end, like a plastic surgeon in front of the task to re-make a face of a celebrity. Despite her unhappiness, I didn’t see any other signals to so abrupt departure.

After the explanations she wrote, I was more then devastated. This was very genuine letter and explanation. So true. She started to use “US” referring to her and Giuseppe. It seems he did his job in gathering himself and he scored full, getting back Cherie. As long she was resisting him, by not moving in, I DID deliver her to him. She entrusted him and he was the lucky one now. By kicking her out of the apartment I put a spark into their relation, a start point. I was crying all weekend, fucked up few things in the office, but I was lam and unable to rise. Peter took me to our night club to meet some Thai girls, but the only thing I could think about is Cherie and none around was even close to her personality and beauty. I could throw up on all the Thai hookers, not mention a fuck which was at the end of my desires those days.

I read her letter few times, I even sent it to my daughter explaining all the situation asking her how genuine is it? She admitted that it looks fine and as much she knows Cherie and me, Cherie’s objections towards me could be true. My daughter pointed my earlier mistakes even with her mother and later, so it seems I did not change at all and still didn’t learn the lessons from previous relations. I put a note in my head, that I need to have a serious father-daughter conversation at some point. Actually, we had one later in December. So, to speak I started to draw a replay. I took me few hours to conclude.